The whole process of labour and delivery can go swiftly, or it can be excruciatingly delayed. The labour and delivery are generally the culmination of nine months of pregnancy, during which your wife may have gone through everything from nausea and vomiting to Braxton Hicks contractions and swollen ankles. However, at the end of the labour and delivery, you will have an adorable baby that is partly you and partly your wife. Still, before your partner can even think about the good things, she has to get through real pushing and contractions. In the case of a C-section, your wife will have to undergo major abdominal surgery. So, your job here is just to support your wife throughout labour and delivery regardless of the course. Here we have given some tips on how to help or support your wife in labour and delivery:
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1. It’s all about her.
After the delivery, it is all about the baby. But, until then, it is all the ‘mommy’. You should make sure that you tend her needs- from tracking down nurses if needed to getting her ice chips, massaging her, or even counting the minutes between contractions.
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Try to fulfil whatever wishes she has. If she wants her mother to be near her along with you, then let her join in the support. You must put aside your own feelings and requirements to care for your wife, who is at best uncomfortable and at worst in a lot of pain, all to deliver the baby.
2. Put down the remote control.
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Now is the time that you give all your attention to your wife. Put down the TV remote and stop indulging in watching TV or playing video games. Try to observe what is happening and ask your wife if she needs anything. At times, all that she needs would be a hand, so give it to her and comfort her. Or perhaps just give her a bear hug.
If the mommy is happy, so will the baby! So, be alert and loving.
3. Tend to your needs.
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When it comes to labour and delivery, it can last upto around 16 hours, particularly if it is the first baby. So, you should pack some snacks for yourself first. Just like you encourage your wife to hydrate herself, you should also be drinking plenty of water. Keep up your strength by refuelling with food and drinking water. You’ll be of no use to your wife if you can’t even stand up or end up taking treatment in the hospital yourself.
4. Stay calm.
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If you want your wife to relax, you need to find a way to put up a brave face rather than sit in silence, pacing the floor. This will only add her own stress and tension. So, you should first try to be strong yourself. Sometimes, just having a reliable partner who seems to believe everything will turn out well is sufficient to get you through labour and delivery positively.
5. Be a cheerleader.
If you encourage your partner during labour and delivery, it will go a long way to helping her. There will be a time in labour when your wife might feel that she can not continue further. At that point, you should be the one to encourage her and assure her that she can do it.
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If she is annoyed by all the things that you say and do, especially if they are having difficult labour and delivery or have a little endurance for pain – then you may need to follow her lead and speak up only if she gives hints that she’d like you to speak.
6. Ignore any harsh words.
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You cannot expect your wife to remain calm and silent during the delivery. Some women may yell, scream, or even curse during the labour and childbirth. The pain, fear and exhaustion get the best of them as you might believe.
Don’t take the rude or harsh things that she says, during this intense times, personally. Try to avoid getting into arguments and defending yourself. Let go of the comments that she makes. She just wants to release and get out her frustration.
7. Accept the decisions made.
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It is quite obvious that you and your wife may have noted down an exact birth plan with instructions on jumping an epidural or ditching supplemental formula in favour of breastfeeding. However, once labour and delivery begin, your baby and the health of your spouse or baby may involve nixing the birth plans you have made. You just need to be supportive during the pregnancy and try not to be judgemental. You should also understand the fact that it is you who has to take certain decisions during the labour and delivery if your wife is not physically or mentally able to do it. You could consider discussing this probability sometime before labour and delivery.
8. Inform the world.
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Sinc you are the support person, then you should be the one to inform family and friends about the arrival of the baby. Nowadays, you can do this via text messages, phone calls, or a Facebook post. Prepare a list of contacts in advance and take care of this without disturbing your wife with any of the details. All she should have to do is to accept and add to the list of people who must know when the baby arrives.
9. Relish the moment.
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You are one lucky man if you have had a child with someone and were also present for the labour and delivery. It is an important event in one’s life. Each birth is a unique gift that helps in bonding a family for life. Try to avoid taking it for granted. Much like you might have been informed for your wedding, you should try to slow down and relish the moment, perceive your feelings, and take mental pictures – not to mention real ones – of what you’re feeling.
