We all have grown up with the fairy tales that have a cliche ending quoting ‘and thy lived happily ever after’. Most of the people after their engagement or perhaps just after their marriage tend to look for ways so as to make their married life just like the one in fairy tales. However, some they succeed and some of them don’t. Some assume that the people who have been married for long know something that others don’t. There is a secret success to married life. All the secrets are pretty obvious, and you just need to think about it so as to make your relationship stable. Nevertheless, there will also be occasions when you don’t have a chance to think of these secrets because you get distracted by certain other things. This is when the marriage becomes unsteady and starts to fray and fall apart. To preclude that from happening in your relationship here is a description of those secrets to a happy marriage, which will help you now or perhaps in the late future.
1. Make yourself Happy
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Married people, particularly women, tend to assume that marriage will fix the problems they have in their life and that their husband will be the one to improve their life and basically make them happy. Happiness is not something that other should create for you. If you want happiness, you should build it yourself. Do not put so much of pressure on him/her. If you expect things from him/her, and you don’t get it, you will be depressed, thus building a gap in the relationship. Do things that you love to do. Furthermore, if things aren’t working, then change it accordingly. You should try to do your part in order to make your marriage happy and fruitful.
2. Learn to Listen
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Listening skills are something that most of the partners lack. You should try to be an ‘active’ listener (When I say active, I stress the active because fights can build up if you are even a passive listener). When you are in an argument with your partner and if the other person is talking, let him/her finish with the talk, rather than interrupt in between. This will also help you to understand his/her perspective on the argument. \ Communication is necessary to building a healthy relationship. The partners need to learn how to express what they intend so that they are understood. If you can learn to listen to what your spouse has to say and know him or her, you will be able to react equally. Even if you both don’t agree, it will bring you closer.
3. Spend time Together
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Yes, it is, in fact, a very busy world that we are living in. No one finds time even for themselves. But, this should never happen when you enter into your marriage life. If you don’t get a chance to spend some time for your better half, then try to ‘find’ time for him/her. That will help in increasing the bonding between the two. When you are always creating moments and thoughts or visions together, you are less likely to sense the distance between you. You do not need to spend money on date nights or perhaps on luxurious vacations, in order to spend some time together. There are lots of other ways by which you can give some time for both of you, without wasting money. You can simply share your favourite coffee in the morning before going to work or even get comfortable on the couch for your favourite movie. Some people set aside some time every week so as to dine together. When you marry, certain things in life should go hand in hand, without hindering your relationship. You should make sure that you don’t become merely roommates after some time. Try to knock your boots whenever you get time.
4. Be Faithful
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It is true that you just can’t dump your friends and family as and when you get married. But, you should also remember that your innermost feelings, emotions or thoughts should be shared with only your spouse. You should not let other people get in the way of your marriage. Moreover, he/she should be the only person with whom you are emotionally and sexually intimate. Overcoming dishonesty is a significant hurdle which you might have to face. However, you are more likely to have a marriage that lasts longer if you are faithful and don’t ever have to handle such an obstacle.
5. Appreciate What you Have
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Some people lament their husbands and think others spouse is much better. This thought itself causes a gap between their relationship which later on gets serious. Some even get separated or divorced. It is then that they realise how good their husband was and that they had made a huge mistake in moving forward with separation. However, by then, it would be too late to get back to good. The solution is to focus on your relationship and cherish what makes your spouse unique, what got you fall in love with him or her. So, be a person who appreciates whatever you have rather than wailing over small things.
