A wedding is something which everyone gets excited about. However, successful couples are savvy. They may attend seminars, read books, browse Web articles and also observe other successful couples.
No one wants to be unhappy. Everyone craves to be happy all the time. However, happiness will not stay for long. It comes and goes.Happy and Successful couples learn to deliberately do things that will bring joy back into their life whenever life tries to pull it away.
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Couples find the value in just showing up. You should not lose hope when you find it hard to move on, but rather you should try to hang in there and be there for their partner and try to solve the issues together. Time also has a way of assisting couples in working things out by presenting opportunities to decrease stress and succeed over challenges.
You should not approach different problems, in the same manner; rather you should propose different plans to get different results. Even minor differences in the approach, action or the attitude could attribute to making a difference in marriage.
You changing attitude also contributes to the way your relationship moves. There might be times when you need to change your attitude. However, if you don’t do that and stick with your stance, then your relationship is likely to be on the rocks.
Nevertheless, long-term relationships and marriages don’t end overnight. They tend to break off after years of heedlessness and disregard on the part of the couple.
Here, we have given six of the most common issues, as per the therapists, which are seen ignored by long-time couples until it is too late.
1. The couple stops being curious about one another.
The best part of a marriage relationship is when you continue to believe that your spouse is a mysterious and an intriguing person who by some possibility of luck, fell in love with you. Melissa Fritchle, who is a couples therapist in Santa Cruz, California., opines that when you start to spend too much time together, you tend to start losing sensitivity or appreciation for who they are outside your marriage.
She also added that familiarity can breed boredom and that it could fool people into not making an attempt to get to know their companion.
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Fritchle also said that asking questions or sharing new prospects and staying interested with one another, will help you in keeping the mystery alive.
2. There is too much communication.
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Communication (if not overdone) is the solution to a healthy relationship. Kristin Davin, who is a psychologist in New York City, says that constant Facebook messages and “you OK?” texts can weigh your husband down.
3. Sex becomes a source of stress.
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Sex is something magical, which connects the couples and enhances their bonding. Fritchle says that whatever that goes on in the bedroom grows into just another irritating life stressor when issues arise.
She also added that people should not feel bad to go to a sex therapist when they find that their sex is leading to misunderstandings and/or debates which you find dreading. You have to communicate honestly so that you can steer your way to a happy sex life together.
4. Arguments over money become more and more frequent.
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Money has a great value in a relationship. One of the studies conducted in 2013 found that couples who fought about money at the beginning of their relationships regardless of their debt, income, debt or even net worth, were at a higher risk for divorce than most of the other couples. Lynn Zakeri, who is a couples therapist in Skokie, Illinois, said that contrast in philosophy about spending could cause irritation and major arguments.
She also added that one has to think from their partners point of view in order to gain a genuine understanding.
5. One partner starts to feel suffocated.
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Even if you marry, you are two separate individuals with different thoughts and viewpoints. So, whenever, your wife tells you that she need to go on a weekend trip with the girls, let her do it. Davin opines that it is nice to have some quality time apart.
Davin opines that one partner’s neediness will create an unhealthy dependence on the other person when one of them wants to spend all their time with the other person. She added that if the other person has to assign every little event outside of ‘we’ time, it can make them desire to run for the hills.
6. The marriage is no longer a priority.
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Christine Wilke, a marriage therapist in Easton, Pennsylvania said that one of the important reasons for marital disaster is allowing everyone, and everything come into your relationship than your spouse.
Wilke says that the primary cause of the divorces is because of the commitments like work, kids’ sports schedule, which is competing for attention. This comes in between your relationship in such a way that finally your marriage also falls within the ‘to-do’ list, which should never happen. So, it is always better to be conscious of making your relationship the priority.
